Welp I haven’t been running or done leg stuff for like three weeks because I broke myself and now I’m feeling all ugly and gross again. Also I have a wisdom tooth that hurts and I don’t know when I’ll have time to get it removed. My recital hearing is in two weeks, and then my recital is in April and I don’t want to get on stage with chipmunk face. I’m falling apart. I hate having a human body.
— Two biblical studies majors I overheard discussing the upcoming film “God’s Not Dead”